My struggles with fatigue that I wrote about last week continued this week, and so it was once again a challenge to find motivation and energy to devote to the Artist’s Way. The good news is that I’m starting to feel a bit better again – fingers crossed that continues.
This week was the first one I managed 7/7 days of morning pages, despite the aforementioned fatigue – high 5 to me! Six of them were even written in the morning (late morning, but morning all the same). They varied between tired writing, words illegibly sprawling across the page and precise and concise, words going across the page in neat lines, darting from topic to topic. I wrote about the mundane, the philosophical, day to day stresses and absent minded daydreams (mostly the mundane day to day, but there was some variation). And all of that is good – writing about anything or everything or nothing is the point of the morning pages after all. There’s no way to do it wrong or badly, and I am happy that I wrote every day.
For my artist date this week I went to the beach. It was simple and good. I drove to a nearby beach, walked down to it, and meandered along the edge of the water, intermittently getting my legs soaked by the waves. I sat on the sand for awhile, breathed, and enjoyed being outdoors on a beautiful day. I was going to take some photos to include in this week’s post, but my brain lulled itself into such a peaceful state I couldn’t remember how to adjust all the camera settings properly (the photo at the top of this post is from earlier this year at a different spot by the ocean). In the end I decided to just enjoy not doing much at all for an hour.
This week’s chapter discussed synchronicity, and so check-in this week has an additional question – did I experience any synchronicity this week? At first I couldn’t think of anything, certainly nothing that relates to creativity. The only thing that came to mind is that I suggested to B that we think about going to Iceland for our honeymoon, and then an Iceland tourism account requested to follow me on instagram. It was a bit odd – I’m not sure how they found me! It’s a little bit of a chicken/egg scenario though – the reason I suggested Iceland was because I’ve seen quite a few stunning photos from there recently (I would love to see the northern lights!), so perhaps I liked someone’s photo of Iceland and that’s how they found me.
I again did 4 of the 10 suggested tasks this week, but I didn’t really feel that I did them justice. I rushed through a few at the very end of the week, but I suppose a few rushed tasks is better than attempting none. I struggled a lot with fatigue, as I mentioned, and this week I also struggled with feelings of selfishness when I thought about the Artist’s Way. I questioned myself – with limited energy, should this really be what I am spending my time and energy on? It feels like there are so many things that need to be done, and I have only so much strength to do them with. Ultimately however, there will always be so many things to do, and is committing to taking some time out of each day for 12 weeks to work on self-development and discovery such a selfish act? Perhaps some people might think so, however I think that if it helps me to like myself more or know myself better that can only be a good thing. And none of us will ever have more time than we do right now, unless we discover time travel!