Week 2 has been harder than week 1 – as you can possibly tell, as this check in is late. This week has been one where chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) has once again caught up with me (albeit to a far lesser extent than it has in the past – thank goodness). Still, I made it!
Once again, this week I managed 6 out of 7 days of morning pages…and 5 of those were even in the morning! (Not first thing, but I’ll still mark that as an achievement). I have been finding that by not writing them first thing, like I used to do, I end up going on far more interesting tangents – sometimes at least. At other times I just find myself complaining about the mundane for 3 pages, but I suppose that’s normal and part of the point of the morning pages – to get the mundane out of your brain and onto the page, to hopefully leave room for something else.
Due to the aforementioned fatigue, for my artist date this week I decided to keep it really simple – one hour of reading outside in the hammock. The last thing I, or my inner artist, wanted this week was to add another excursion to the to-do list. Despite it being an ‘easy’ date this week, it was actually far more challenging than I expected to give myself that time to commit to just relaxing outside. I kept having to convince myself that there was nothing else I had to be doing in that hour, and that it was good to just rest and read in the fresh air. I had to make a conscious point of not looking at my phone to check the time, and to just let go. I was happy I made that time for myself and I did enjoy it, but I really was surprised that I found it somewhat hard.
In one aspect this week was an improvement on last week – as well as the morning pages and artist date I managed 4 of the 10 suggested tasks. Admittedly some of them were easy to incorporate – like writing affirmations after the morning pages and reading the basic principles twice a day, but I am still pleased that I managed more than last week despite being tired.
Overall, it was a good week in the sense that I was happy that I managed the things I did, but even this early on I am finding it hard to stay motivated. My fatigue has been trying to sap all motivation away this week, but I have determined that I can and will do this. Whether I do it ‘well’ or not doesn’t really matter – it’s the intent behind it. I may reach the end of these 12 weeks having done less than half of the suggested tasks, but I’ll still have done more to rediscover my creativity than if I had done nothing at all.